Hospice - Bereavement Services

Because grief is an expected response to death, University Hospice offers the following services:

• Informational mailing about grief and coping
• Short-term Counseling
• Lending library for adults and children
• Grief Support Groups
• Grief classes held twice yearly (pre-registration)
• Annual "Tree of Remembrance" (in December)
• Bereavement articles: Common Reactions

Building a New Life

The opportunity that accompanies loss is as real as the pain, but often is overlooked. Times of crisis, such as following a death, uncover people's abilities, as well as their vulnerabilities. It is possible to use this information to resolve old conflicts and to build a new life.

Restructuring one's life after a loss is enhanced by doing it deliberately. It requires thought, patience, a willingness to be honest with one self, and the courage to change. One way to begin is to study one's talents, resources, and options, as well as blocks to self-fulfillment. Support groups and counseling can contribute to self-discovery and needed connection with others.

A next step would be to set some attainable goals and develop a plan to accomplish them. This provides direction and feelings of security, self-esteem, and hope, which tend to be lacking during bereavement.

The actual shifting of energy from the past to the future is a gradual process that is aided by achieving one's goals and by letting go of unattainable wants. Hope comes from choosing what is possible.

In attempting to build a life without someone who died, the following thoughts may be helpful:

• Even though you may feel that part of you is missing, you are a whole person; there may be undeveloped parts of you that can grow now.
• Intensity of grief is related to how much of ourselves is invested in the lost object (person).
• A relationship with a person does not end with death, it merely changes.
• Being a friend to others who are sorrowing can enable you to share what you have learned, and to turn grief into creative energy.
• Confronting a death can lead to a reevaluation and deepening of faith and spiritual life.
• The best memorial to a loved one is a full and growing life.

For info about University Hospice Bereavement Program, call (718) 226-6450